Goodbye 2021

Back in April I was walking back to my friend Steph's home and we were talking about how, like many, I felt like I've lost a year of my life due to the pandemic. I told her I was turning 25 again. Steph looked at me and said, "What if, instead, you make this year the best year yet." As I reflect on this year that moment with Steph sticks out.

2021 has been one of the best and worst years of my life, and I am still trying to figure out how that can be. I lost and found myself this year. Visited New York twice. Cried my eyes out. Started a new job that I love. Strengthened a relationship with a friend I hadn't seen since 2013. Found refuge in a darling yoga studio. Cut gluten. Sought help from medical professionals. Opened my heart up. Moved. Saw different parts of Kansas City and colors that I'd never seen before. Set boundaries. Ended relationships that I had outgrown. Dyed my hair and re-surrendered to the spontaneity of life.

I'm not going to lie a lot of the time I feel scared, but then I think about how much I've overcome in the past couple years and I feel an immense amount of gratitude for the growth that has occurred. I don't know if it would've occurred if we weren't in this pandemic which is frightening. I know that whenever we come out of this, if we ever do, I've done some of the work to be the best version of Chanel I can be. I'm most proud of that, and that I opened myself up to so many new experiences this year.

 2022, I don't know what you bring. Somedays I fear you. Somedays I know beautiful things are on the way. I choose to believe.

Wearing: Dress - BLDWN (sold out, but similar), pants - J. Crew, shoes - Altuzarra for Target (long gone, but similar)

Photos by Malaina

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