On Letting Go

The first full moon of the year came along with so many emotions. Now I'm not one to ever turn away from a full moon, but this Cancer moon came with such intense feelings. The full moon is a time to release control and let go, both things that I struggle with.

My yoga teacher Angela said when you let go it creates space and permit myself to not feel the urge to define or fill up that space. Instead, I should allow myself the freedom to explore that space. Angela then posed the question, what do I want more of?

I don't think I'll ever fully let go of people I love, but filling the space they held with something else in time. Well, that's just beautiful. So often people tell you to let go. It feels so callous. You never really let go of people and things you love, do you? Reframing it and asking what I want more of was such an honest way to acknowledge the space that once was and invite in curiosity. Something new. Something golden.

So, I ask myself. What do I want more of? I've come up with a few things. More sun on my face. More presence with Mother Earth. More time rooting for my friends celebrating their little victories and standing by their sides when things get tough. More energy to create. More trust in the process of life.

So here I am letting go in all the marigolden glory. I didn't think I'd share this post, but it feels inauthentic not to share something that was so big for me. There have been more Dear Diary posts recently and it's something I'm proud of. It's funny the night I wrote this post my aunt Nelu who lives in India sent me a text with an image that said, "When you let go you create space for better things to enter your life."

And this slip dress? I had a dream about it. I was wearing a silk marigold slip dress. It was wonderful. If you know me you know that I take my dreams very seriously. So I searched and searched for a marigold slip dress. I had given up when this one appeared. Silk, in my size from a company named De la Terra, which naturally dyes textiles in California. It was a sign. 

This post is dedicated to the memory of Zane Lee Todd III. 

Photos by Bella Grace Cordero

Wearing: Dress - De La Terra (exact, similar), shoes - Valentino, lips - Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Cruella

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